Come on and let me know...

Should I stay or should I go now?

I read an article this past week titled, "Why You Need to Fail" by Taylor Turner on a blog I follow Inside Out Magazine. Read the post and see for yourself why I liked it. It called to me because it was brutally honest. The type of honest one needs when one, who has continued to lie to oneself over and over again that "everything is fine" until everything is not fine, desperately wants and needs to hear. Also, perhaps I enjoyed this article because I could identify with it personally; especially concerning failures from last semester. One big "F"ailure comes to mind, concerning a certain class which led to a last minute decision to cancel all classes for my current semester and pick up what would seem a complete waste of credits-- Jazz Dance.

One day is fine and next is black

After the decision to throw my almost-earned Associate's Degree in the gutter, I chose to spend this spring semester searching for universities to transfer to in the fall and focusing on my current extracurricular commitments which include:

• Pathfinder Director
• Dance Instructor
• Programming Director (Summer Camp)
• CrossFit
• and of course some actual work for $$$monies$$

The indecision is bugging me

So far in my college search for next semester (I've only visited 2 campuses so far--3 in actuality but living minutes from one doesn't count) I've decided DEFINITELY NOT for one and I DON'T KNOW MAYBE-PROBABLY for the other. On one college trip some friends introduced me to this really adventurous bookstore where I picked up a blank book. In this blank book one page is dedicated to the pros and cons of perspective places of education I may or may not be learning at in the fall times. #1 on both lists of pros and cons is location. Of course thanks to The Clash I've come to the conclusion that the biggest question in my university search is: "Should I stay, or should I go now?"

If I go it will be trouble, if I stay it will be double.

I've discovered that I have nowhere I would specifically want to go. Not one major I really want to earn. I can see myself anywhere doing (almost) anything. For example I've applied to one university to study film, another to study health education, and another business!
So what now? How do I answer this very important question? I can see both pros and cons of in-state and out-of-state universities. I see how effective it would be for me to study here, also how distracting it would be as well. Knowing myself, as I've known myself these past 4 years working, schooling, and extra things have not gone well. I want it all! All of it! But while I can hold on to everything at once I can not dedicate my all to all of it. After realizing this about myself I can see how an out-of-state college would be a good choice. I could get away from my responsibilities and focus on my education for a bit. However, on the flip side, why would I want to run away from my responsibilities? Perhaps among all these extracurriculars lies my true calling. Maybe my education won't truly lead me to that one job. Maybe there isn't one job. What if college isn't for me?
Do you see my dilemma?

So you gotta let me know, should I stay or should I go?

As I end this blog-post I end with no answer. At least not yet. I know at some point it will come.
In the meantime, I'm going to have this song on replay.
Also, readers please feel free to comment/message me with advice and stories of your own education/job search experiences is VERY WELCOME and MUCH appreciated!

Signed ~a very confused, frustrated, yet hopeful student

p.s. here's the song for you all to listen to its what I'm feelin' right now guys!