I called myself Pip

My father’s family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip.

My mother's name is Bertha Lois Ulloa Saladier, my father's name is Domingko Diofil Saladier. My mother named me from a mixture of her initials "BLU" and her mother's name "ANN" making "Bluann." This is the name that was given to me.
As a firstborn child I am sure my parents had great expectations for their offspring. Perhaps they would have no more children? Then I would be it and it had better be good. Luckily for me, I did not have the entire responsibility of being my parents' only child, three others came from them. Each one of my sisters have names given to them: Roswena, Cassilabelle, Selencia. Each name is unique as is each sister. What is in a name?

Close your eyes. Now I want you to say in a voice only you can hear. Say your name.

Tonight I watched the film "Mr. Pip." Being one of the "Recently Added" films to the Netflix collection I thought that I had better put my $7 (and some cents) to use. No regrets.

The Queen of Sheba and crabs in the sand

Now to all of you out there this film is rated PG-13 for a reason: violence, highly dramatic (traumatic themes set in war times), language etc; However, I am almost glad it is a PG-13 film because a story like this is hard to tell without a level of graphic-ness (excuse me as I make up words and use silly little dashes to make sense of it all...). I thought that this film was very well done. I enjoyed the heavy thematic score, beautiful islands scenes, and clever script based off a book which is based off real events which are drawn from an even older novel "Great Expectations. As I am a reader of many a 19th century novel, I always enjoy a good movie that portray reading as the adventure that it is. But this film proved a point that, as the official tagline goes, "Fiction can be dangerous in times of war."

SPOILER ALERT
As the only remaining white on the island, Mr. Watts is an oddity. Being seen as an educated man, he is recruited as a teacher for the island kids. Mr. Watts is no teacher, he has no child and spends his days caring for his wife who seems to be stuck in the past, a zombie for all purposes, Mr. Watts, or Popeye as they like to call him, begins to read the children "Great Expectations." One of the students, Matilda, closely relates to the hero "Pip" and imagines herself in the story right alongside him. As kids are, many imaginations run wild especially the first day when Mr. Watts tells the children he wants to introduce them to a Mr. Dickents. The next day all hands rise and the students begin asking their teacher where this other white man is and if he can give them some items on their parents wish lists. As the students continue to hear the story and learn more about this imaginary character, some parents become concerned. Pip truly becomes a being. So much so that when a militia leader arrives, the locals are asked to bring forth this "Pip." La di da di da....things happen and I don't want to spoil you all too much because I know you're still reading even though this paragraph was titled with SPOILER ALERT.

"What's it like to be white?" ask the children of their teacher Mr. Watts. "I usually only notice it when I'm surrounded by blacks." Mr. Watts replies. "What's it like being black?"

This particular point in the movie was one that made me think. And I greatly enjoy films, books, and music that makes me do just that. Think just a little bit harder about what may seem to be the most basic and simple things in life. Black and White. Or Brown. Being an "islander" myself I don't fit into black or white but both and neither. Hispanic is not really my thing either and asian is still a bit far off so I've always been on the outside of these racial cliques or in all of them. So the answer is true for me. I frequently feel "white" among "blacks" and then "black" among "whites." Its a very interesting situation I think and I like it.

Take my life.

Family is the base and footing of societies. We cannot be without families. Children are raised, communities are formed around this social clump of beings. And with the dramatic decline of a family structure so goes a great nation. A great country is not made up of strong individuals, it is made up of weak and imperfect families who realize they need more, are worth more, and are able to work towards more together as a unit.

Matilda is told in the latter part of the film that Mr. Watts was no brave man. She hastily disagrees. For what she saw of him he was always the gentleman and the last time she saw him he was the bravest man on earth. Whatever Mr. Watts was in his past life he no longer was in his new one. I think this is true of us all changed individuals. Once we go past a certain point there is no turning back. We are no longer the person we are before. We are constantly being changed and molded. We are able to chew over how our environment changes us and how circumstances leave us but life happens and we all end up different then how we predict.

Great expectations.

Yesterday I spent a good twenty minutes talking (more like listening) to two of my extended family members give advice on how life is. One snippet that has stuck to me all day today and has been repeated over and over in my mind since she said it is, "God will always put you where you need to be. I know there are places we've moved because we needed to meet certain people and everything readies you for the next step. Just know that if you're running around in circles and God needs you to be somewhere, that's where you'll end up. Sometimes He lets you take that short cut, detour, or round about adventure. He takes you left to go right. God lets us explore that side of us to get it out of our system because if we had never gone left we would have never known and it would have haunted us to eternity. God knows. He lets us explore. But if you're seeking you will find."

Mathew 6:33

Seek. Be a finder. Don't give up, never give up.

As I end this post that is a seemingly jumbled mess of a movie review, name game, and theological musing, I say my name to myself. That is one thing that no one can ever take from you. For there is no one in the world with your voice that can say your name. Bluann.