Why Teach? why learn?

Sitting in a coffee shop listening to both the music exiting the speakers of my blue headphones as me and my blue CrossFit shirt are surrounded by the chatter and Christmas music courtesy of James Taylor and fellow coffee shop sitters.
I will ignore the fact I have't been on here in near a year and continue to tell the emptiness that I am reading a book. The book "Why Teach?" is by Mark Edmunson. What I know so far about him is that he teaches at UVA. So many truths so far to his book that I am swimming in my brain that is drowning due to these ideas that I myself have been telling myself and chewing over for months, years, ever since my first semester at community college. My new facebook status (because of course when we discover something new and idealogical it must be etched into the stony crevice of our book of faces line of time), is from the book,

"Students worry that taking too many chances with their education will sabotage their future prospects...There's a sentiment currently afoot that if you step aside for a moment to write, to travel, to fall too hard in love, you might lose position permanently."

The above idea plus the hypothesis that most students are mindless creatures who live in a constant environment of activity and drama yet themselves are so unenthusiastic and have nothing to say in response to pieces of literaure except for, "I enjoyed it."
Enjoyment. Students today seem to think that education is for their enjoyment and if pleasure is not derived from the act of learning and studying then it surely is not profitable. After all if it hurts why do it? Mark mentions this attitude of "learning" has been due to most parents discouraging honesty and criticism from teachers because children must always be flattered and never must a hurtful word enter the mix.
People have forgotten that the reason we seek education is because of our present ignorance.
Smart doesn't come from smart already.
So as a present student and teacher and continuous seeker of education and opportunities to learn, I will seek for Teachers (as I have been) who don't flatter students, I will be honest with them and while I'm still afraid of raising my hand or speaking I will still face that discomfort and share. Learn. Get embarrassed and try to get used to being such.

To a dear friend

Happy Birthday Vashti!

My gift to you: http://youtu.be/TnIAPuA78TA


         Of course on this special day I must say a few words to my dear dear friend.  When I first met you I thought, "This girl is crazy."  And after a few months, I realized that my first impression of you was correct.  You were crazy. You are crazy. And I don't ever want you to change your craziness!
          Other than being totally off the wall, and completely unlike any friend I ever had before, you are a great teacher. "Huh?" You ask, "What did I teach you?"  Well...I learned things from you that I could never learn from anyone else.  For example, you taught me that its okay to be real with people. Before you, I had a hard time showing my real face to my friends, my church, people in everyday life.  I believed, like many do, that putting up a front was the only way to get through life because it was safe.  And being safe at the end of the day is all that matters. BOY was I wrong! I hope others will also see the light after being around you even for just a few minutes. I remember thinking, "This girl is free. She is herself no matter the situation. She is honest. I admire that. I need that. That honesty."  So I thank you for that one important lesson.
            However, that is just one lesson in a HUMONGOUS bucket of lessons learned from Vashti. I will share the others around your next birthday time (you'll have to still be friends with me then--see what I did there!).  On to how you taught me these important lessons.  It wasn't ever a class or a long detailed explanation in "who Vashti is."  You simply live your life and in that, simply living, you can be the best teacher and encourage those around you much more than any extravagant preacher can.
             This is why I treasure you!  You are one of the few people out there who is real.  You don't mess around and take the fakeness. I love talking with you and hearing how your day went. There really is never a boring day in Vashti's life. When I see your name I see orange butterflies, sunflowers, yoga mats, and lots and lots of tea!  I hope the next years for you will bring even more oppurtunities for you to shine.  God is working through you.  Stay strong, vibrant, and active. Stay spontaneous. Always be laughing. I know you will go on a great adventure someday and it will be amazing.  Just remember to invite me!
              Love ya girl!

shutterfly guam christmas card

5x7 Folded Card

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Well this failed!--sorta

Hello again friends!

As you can see in the above photo, I am about to punch myself in the face.
Why?
Because. Its August.  What? I said, its August. Its August, its August, its AUGUST!
I know you all can count. March was my last entry................................................its been awhile.
I'm back! With a new obsession of cutting things! You can tell in the pic I've gotten a shorter haircut due to my scissor addiction. But hair is only the first victim, the second is clothing. The shirt in the picture is also cut up.

Off the subject of my diseases and many things wrong with me, what has happened this summer you ask?

1. Summer Camp
2. Camp in the summer
3. Gone for 6 weeks
4. Camp Blue Ridge
5. Up in the mountains
6. Had fun!
7. Ha-la-la-la-la-la-la-le-lu-jah

The above is what happened. If you're really that interested in knowing, come on over and I'll let you read my diary entries for those 6 weeks because guess what? I wrote every single day! WHAAAAA?

My new favorite annoying songs:

1. What Makes You Beautiful
2. Be A Man (from Disney's Mulan)
3. Circle of Life (from Disney's Lion King)
4. Colors of the Wind (from Disney's Pocohontas)

--yeah I know-- a lot of Disney. 

But the best thing that I took away is the theme of the summer camp which was: "Heart of Worship."  Yes. We sang that song. Yes. A lot of times. Yes, at times it was annoying.  But everytime I sang it, I thought about the meaning and really tried my best to make it worship although it was "same old, same old."  Good isn't boring. The distractions of this life are not worth the suffering. 
Coming back from camp, I want to move and go out there and really just be proud and open about being a child of God. So that others will want this peace! It is amazing!

"That's Mahogany!" a Hunger Games review

 What did I think of the HUNGER GAMES?  Well-------

ON PEETA
His was the first name I could think of after I finished watching the movie.  The burning question in my mind about the next movie is "What will happen to Peeta."  Keep in mind that I read the books after I had seen the trailer for the film adaptation.  So I imagined each character with their actor's face ever present in my mind.  Josh Hutcherson surpassed my expectations of what Peeta should act like. The only thing I didn't like about his character is that he didn't get more dialogue with Katniss to show us, the audience, just how in love with her he is.
Favorite scene w/ Peeta: Obviously the cave scene. And when Katniss finds him all camouflaged! And when he shouts "Go run!"  Also, he didn't look too bad tossing stuff around during training.

ON KATNISS
The reason why she wasn't first on my list of mentioned is because she is too ordinary.  Usually I enjoy the ordinary hero as much as the next viewer especially if the unexpected hero is a girl...however, although Jennifer Lawrence's acting was Katniss good I just don't enjoy her as much as a character.  She was very protective at the beginning of Prim and bitter towards her mother which I never liked about her. She's a very tricky heroine.  You are supposed to like her and hate her and identify with her all at the same time.  And I can do all of that! I just don't love her.
Favorite scene w/ Katniss: Rue's death.  She got a chance to show her emotion.  In the film it seemed as if Katniss knew what she was doing and you couldn't actually believe that she could lose.  She was up there with Cato as far as survival and strategy goes I think.  There could have been more of a risk with her and there wasn't enough for me.

ON EFFIE
Instead of going in the list of "other" characters Effie stands out because other than Peeta, this movie got Effie straight on!  From the way she dressed, her accent, high shoes, to the way she yelled out the phrase that is taking over tumblr "That's Mahogany!" Effie Trinket stole Katniss' thunder.
Favorite scene w/ Effie: All the awkward moments between her and Haymitch. I think I'm going to ship those two from now on in the movies.

ON HAYMITCH
I wish he was grubbier.  I wish he was meaner.  I wish he had shown more vulnerability when he was drunk.   The actor was good. I liked his look but I wish he was just a bit more exaggerated.  His relationship with Katniss was good.  Even in the movie he was still brutally honest.
Favorite scene w/ Haymitch: After Katniss' interview he says " I like your dress."  Effie is standing right next to Katniss so he adds looking at Effie, "Not yours."  Effie/Haymitch need to be a canon couple!

ON SNOW
Boring.  He was so boring.  The only way he resembled President Snow in the books is his hair.  I have nothing against Donald Sutherland and that is the problem right there! I didn't hate him!  Snow has to be hated.  Where was the smell of blood?  Where was the coldness?  I wanted to snuggle up to him and have him read me a bedtime story he was so nice!
No favorite scene.

ON CAESAR
I didn't know the actor who played Caesar was going to play him in the movie but when I read the book I put Stanley Tucci's face behind that mic.  His smile and laugh and gait was exactly how I imagined it.  Like Peeta, Caesar did not let me down!  He put on a FANTASTIC show.
Favorite scene: The interview with Katniss. It was so awkward but that kiss he gave her on the hand was so sweet of him.

ON CINNA
I love how he was nice and friendly and very supportive to Katniss.  I wish I had liked Katniss more.  You know to get down to it, I'm just really jealous of her that's why I'm so hard on her character.  Because if it was me I'd take advantage of the situation so bad...okay end of that off point.  Cinna.  Yes.  Very good.
Favorite scene:  Those moments before the games begin.  When he places his forehead to hers.  He understands and can sympathize with his tributes.

ON OTHER CHARACTERS
Where was Cinna's support stylists?  I missed them.  I also missed Madge and the scene at the beginning when Gale and Katniss hunted would have been better if they had added the scene with the two runaways and the one who gets turned into an avox.  Avoxes in general.  I felt like they toned it down way too much to make it "kid friendly."  True it is PG-13 but still it felt like a teen flick.  I wanted gritty and  creepy and something darker.  Where was the mystery and darkness lurking behind those painted faces at the Capitol?  I liked the game maker better as Snow than Snow himself?  Why?  Because he had a mischeviousness about him that the Capitol lacked.

ON MISSING SCENES
1. AVOX
At the beginning of the story Gale and Katniss wander upon two runaway persons in the woods during a hunting expedition.  One is killed while the other is taken away in a hovercraft.  Katniss runs into this person later on at the Capitol after she has become an Avox.  She always felt guilty that she didn't help her.  I feel like this side plot would have gone a long way in helping me like Katniss' character more.
2. Peeta's INJURIES
Peeta was supposed to have his leg amputated!  What happened there?  He was supposed to have almost died?  Instead he just has a small fever from a very small cut in his leg.  Big fail there!
3. Cinna's TEAM
I missed this rambunctious shallow bunch.  Sure it would have made this movie longer, but again just more things that would have added to Katniss' character boost on the ladder of my favor.
4. Haymitch AT THE REAPING
Why wasn't Haymitch at the Reaping?  He was supposed to keel over drunk!
5.TRIBUTES
Where were the eyes of the dead tributes in the mutts?  Why didn't anyone react more to the food getting blown up?  I didn't feel enough desperateness and hate between all the tributes during the games.  Sure they all may not have enjoyed their time there, but I am sure there were some who were blood thirsty and that was shown in Cato but there wasn't enough fear and desperateness in the rest of the victims.
6. GALE/PEETA/KATNISS
I didn't feel there was enough of a struggle between the three of them.  There was one moment when Gale sees Peeta/Katniss together in the cave but I don't feel that the movie did justice to the struggle Katniss was feeling by playing the lover.  Peeta didn't even seem to care that much when she says she wishes she could forget it all.  The dial on Peeta and Katniss' relationship was tuned down so low I could barely detect it.  If there wasn't that kiss I don't know...there was one scene that was perfect with Peeta/Katniss.  When she hears a cannon and thinks its Peeta and then bumps into him and scolds him for picking nightlock berries perfect.  Yeah.  Peeta did well on his part of being in love but I didn't feel the struggle in Katniss.  All Katniss was in was survival mode.  Oh well. Maybe the next movie will remedy this.

OVERALL VIEW
Okay so if I had to rate this movie I would give it an 8!
The cinematography was really good--I just wish the camera wasn't so shaky and music videoish on some parts I was getting dizzy.  Acting good.  Actor choice was pretty good.  Violence was well represented.  Storyline....I know its hard to shorten a book but I wish they had added more to make this story gutsier.  They toned it down alot and that's not the reason I enjoy these books so much.  Its about a heartless society.  They kill kids.  Its supposed to be gritty and creepy and scary.  They needed more creepy.  Also, more desperate.  Snow again was a BIG FAIL!  Other than that, I really liked Peeta and Effie and smiled so much when Katniss blew up the supplies.  Many great memorable moments.  So now I'm off to buy the books so that I can re-read the first one again before watching the movie again!

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Nightmares and Africa

Its 4am.  I am awake right now because I had a very disturbing dream.

I dreamnt that my youngest sister was abducted and brutually murdered.

One of my friends was also captured but he made it out all right.  I woke up on the verge of tears, scared, and very alone.  I was afraid a team of kidnappers would burst into my house at any moment, whereupon, I would jump into my closet and duck behind my wall of clothing.  What about the rest of my family?  

I think this dream really was playing on the fact that I really miss my cousin (he was living with us at one time when we had joint custody over him).  Also, that bad things are happening of this nature, are constantly occurring to decent people like myself and it was time that I paid attention and be more sympathetic.

I won't share my friends' lists of problems and tragedies but I will share this:

Right now in Africa kids are being abducted.  Ripped from their families, forced to kill and do unspeakable acts until they are no longer "children".  Right now in Africa a man named Joseph Kony.

I woke up from my nightmare and this is what I had to do.  I had to make this issue known to everyone I could come in contact with.  I can imagine what it would be like to lose a sister.  But I am fortunate that I woke up from the nightmare.  Many people don't get that chance to wake up from their nightmare because their nightmare is reality.

I cannot explain to you the whole story about the war that goes on in Africa, but I can tell you that I watched a short film by the organization Invisible Children who support the belief that Joseph Kony must be hunted down and brought to justice.
The following video really reminded me that there are tragedies going on all over the world.  People need our help, our prayers, and our thoughts.  We also need to start doing something to help.  Now, I wouldn't recommend donating money to this group below just because I am a a bit skeptical of their organization.  Read this: We Got Trouble and Invisible Children respond to critiques then make up your mind on whether or not to believe this group.

However, we do need to be aware and make Kony known to those who haven't heard his name.  We have to pray for the situation and then come together and find a way to do what we can to help.

In any case, there are always going to be wars and rumors of wars on earth.  What matters is how we, as bystanders, react in cases like this.  It reminds me of a quote that has been revised from the original by Pastor Nieomoller during WWII.

They came for my enemies and I did not speak out,
Then they came for the people I did not care about, and I did not speak out.
After them, they came for my friends and still I did not speak.
Then they came for my family and I did not speak.
Finally, they came for me and there was no one to speak for me.

Watch the video and make Joseph Kony famous. END WAR.

Welcome to the club!

Zoey D's character Jess, being welcomed to the club of "kid haters"

   I was watching the cute and quirky, Zoey Deschanel on her new tv show "New Girl."  In the most recent episode, Zoey's character, Jess who is a teacher, accidentally sabotages her student's science project.   When confronted by the principal, who believed that Jess had destroyed the student on purpose out of spite, Jess is greeted with a hug and a "welcome to the club of kid haters."

I feel like I was reluctantly welcomed to this club during the past month of February.

Before this February rolled around, I believed that the teachers I knew enjoyed teaching and loved their students.  I love teaching.  I teach kids at my church, at my part time worship dance job.  Teaching is such a big part of my life.  I enjoy teaching!  So much so, that I want to become a teacher one day!   I wanted to join the club of "kid lovers."  However, this past month had me re-thinking teachers and their devotion to their students.

Most know how Teachers are under paid for their work.  They are put on long schedules with a strict curriculum that must be followed to a "T".  I have come to believe that Teachers who start out like Zoey D's character Jess from "New Girl", creative and loving and willing to give everything to their pupils, end up bitter, bored, and tired.

During my experience this month, watching another Teacher handle his class, listening to his backhand comments, complaining about this or that concerning their students, I was put off.  One day they even confided in me spewing out their annoyances and expecting some type of comfort for their "pitiful profession."

I felt like I was supposed to say something like, "Oh yeah. Those kids are stupid."

Now I'm not saying that I wouldn't be tired as a Teacher.  I'm not saying I wouldn't get tired of the long hours.  I'm not saying that the kids wouldn't annoy me sometimes.  I'm not saying that I wouldn't regret being a Teacher. But I am saying that if I did feel that way I hope I would have the decency to STOP everything immediately and QUIT then and there.


I hope I would have the decency to at least keep my angry sentiments to myself instead of sharing them with EVERYONE in sight!

Life is too short to spend time whining over something you clearly don't want to do.  Don't do something just because you're obligated to do it when your heart is not in it.  And when you are caught in a job you HATE, PLEASE for yourself and others, quit immediately.  You are not doing anyone any favors by staying in a situation where no one is happy.

The school system is so messed up, as is everything else in this world.  But when you get a good teacher it really is worth all those long hours spent doing homework.  A good teacher makes sure that they are there to  answer any and every question.  A good teacher gets tired, gets bored, gets uninspired.  But the most important thing that makes a teacher good, is that a good teacher persists, never gives up, works hard to help and is a people server.

My prayer is that I will be that type of teacher.  The type that persists, is creative, and strives to inspire students to learn and help themselves have a better life.  And I pray that I will keep those feelings of boredom, fatigue, and annoyance to myself on the days that aren't so good.